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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27360859">In the Name of Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ice_Queen784/pseuds/Ice_Queen784'>Ice_Queen784</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a song, Based on several songs actually, Depression, F/M, Heavy Angst, POV Alternating, Past Abuse, Season/Series 04, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:47:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,024</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27360859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ice_Queen784/pseuds/Ice_Queen784</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina knows she should leave before Robin gets hurt, like everyone who gets close to her does. But they're soulmates. And Robin won't give up on her that easily.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Robin Hood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. When the Party's Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first fic for this ship/fandom, and I'm excited but also really nervous to post the first chapter. It's set in a Marian/Zelena-less version of season 4. I hope you like it! :)</p>
<p>This chapter is based on when the party's over by Billie Eilish</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t you know I’m no good for you?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve learned to lose you, can’t afford to</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>But nothin’ ever stops you leavin’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina sat by the campfire with Robin, wondering how the hell they’d ended up together. He was so kind, and good, and perfect. She couldn’t be further from that. Didn’t he realize that she was no good for him? It wasn’t like he didn’t know who she was. It wasn’t like he’d never heard of the Evil Queen before. He knew exactly who she had been in the Enchanted Forest. So she couldn’t figure out why he wanted to be with her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She wished he understood that loving her would never bring him anything but pain. She had resigned herself a long time ago to the fact that she would lose everyone she loved. She couldn’t afford to lose him. And she couldn’t afford to hurt him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright, my love?” Robin asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” Regina lied, not wanting him to worry about her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wrapped his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder, knowing that she should leave before she made him regret meeting her. She knew she would do anything for him. She loved him. But he didn’t have to love her back. He shouldn’t love her back. And for the life of her, she just couldn’t figure out why he did.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Quiet when I’m coming home and I’m on my own </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina walked up the steps to her house alone that night. Robin had asked her if she wanted to stay the night with him, but she’d declined his offer, saying she would rather sleep in her own bed tonight. It had been a lie, of course. She wanted nothing more to stay at his camp with him. To fall asleep with his arms wrapped around her, feeling safe and loved. But she couldn’t stay. She needed to keep her distance from him. Loving her was dangerous, and it was selfish of her to pretend it wasn’t. Nothing good ever came from being with her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine, hoping alcohol might take Robin off her mind. She drank almost the whole bottle, but all she accomplished was getting so drunk she couldn’t walk up the stairs. She wasn’t even sober enough to magic herself up to her bedroom, or into pajamas. So she fell asleep on the couch in her clothes, wishing Robin was there to hold her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was awoken by someone gently shaking her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Robin?” She called as she opened her eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She looked up to see Emma crouched down beside the couch. She sighed. This was embarrassing. She was pathetic. And she had a headache. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you even get in here?” Regina demanded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have magic.” Emma reminded her. “And you have a hangover.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” She asked, annoyed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it’s past noon and no one had seen you, so I got sent to check on you.” She explained. “Do you want me to tell them you’re sick?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m fine.” Regina snapped, sitting up. “I can go to work. I’m not sick.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know, it seems like you might be lovesick.” Emma teased.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina took a deep breath and refrained from slapping her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Get out.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Emma ignored her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did something happen with Robin last night?” She questioned, now looking concerned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not really.” She shrugged. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you in love with him?” Emma pressed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t be.” Regina replied, not looking at her. “And he shouldn’t be in love with me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because bad things happen to people who love me.” She instantly regretted being so honest with her. “Please go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina-,”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be in my office in less than an hour.” She cut her off. “Now leave me alone.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Emma nodded and left in a poof of silvery smoke, and Regina laid back down and cried. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t you know too much already?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll only hurt you if you let me</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Call me friend, but keep me closer (Call me back)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And I’ll call you when the party’s over </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina was sitting in her living room alone that evening, trying to sort out her thoughts about Robin with another bottle of wine, when she was interrupted by a knock on the door. She assumed it was Snow or Emma, but when she opened the door, it was Robin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, can I come in?” He asked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” She nodded. Robin took her hand as she led him to the living room, and he didn’t let go when they sat down. “Would you like a drink?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I just need to talk to you.” He replied. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“About what?” Her immediate assumption was that he was leaving her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Emma told me what happened this afternoon.” He explained. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina sighed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course she did.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She was worried about you, love.” He squeezed her hand a little tighter. “She said you think something bad is going to happen to me because I love you. Why?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I’m a villain.” She explained for the millionth time. “And villains don’t get happy endings.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You aren’t a villain, Regina.” Robin told her. “You’re my soulmate. I’m not leaving you, even if you try to push me away. I’m not afraid of something bad happening to me. And I’m not afraid of you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She started crying. How could he be this stupid?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe you should be afraid of me.” She argued. “You know who I am. You know what I’m capable of. I could hurt you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You could never hurt me, my love.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin wrapped his arms around her and she cuddled up against him, sobbing into his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She wished he would let her go. She loved him too much to bear the thought of anything happening to him. But she knew he wasn’t going anywhere. They could never just be friends. There was no running away from this. And she didn’t want to, even though she knew she should. For better or worse, Robin was here to stay. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Quiet when I’m coming home and I’m on my own</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few days later, Regina sat in a booth at Granny’s across from Robin. He had taken her out to lunch to try to take her mind off of work. He’d been spending even more time with her the last few days than usual, as if he was trying to reinforce his point about not leaving her. Not that she minded. She loved every minute she spent with him, even if she constantly had to quiet the nagging voice in her mind that said this would never work.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright, love?” He asked her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” She told him, and at least in that moment, she wasn’t lying. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled and reached across the table to take her hand, and looked at her with so much love she thought her heart might burst. She had never been with someone who genuinely cared about her before. She had never had someone who truly loved her before. Not like he did. She had never thought she deserved it. But she had it now anyway, and she prayed to any god that might be listening that she wouldn’t ruin it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After their date, Robin walked Regina back to her office, holding her hand the whole way. She was reluctant to let go of his hand when they got there, but she did. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to get back to work.” She told him awkwardly.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” He replied.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She started to walk away, but he reached out and grabbed her hand, gently pulling her back to him. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly, and she didn’t want to let go. But after a few moments, she pulled away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You should get going.” She said quietly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure Little John is annoyed with me, considering I told him I’d be back twenty minutes ago. </span>
  <span>I should probably go take Roland off his hands.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell Roland I said hi.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I will.” He promised. He gave her one more quick kiss. “I’ll see you later, my love.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bye, Robin.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina closed the door to her office and sighed. She already missed him, even though he had only been gone a few seconds. She knew it was pathetic. But she hated being alone. She hated being without him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her better judgement told her that she was better off when he wasn’t around. She couldn’t hurt him if he wasn’t here. She should be staying away from him anyway. But she didn’t want to stay away. She wanted to be with him all the time. He made her feel happy, and safe, and cared for, and loved. She just hated that all she had to give him in return was pain and sadness. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>But nothin’ is better sometimes</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Once we’ve both said our goodbyes</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Let’s just let it go</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Let me let you go </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina met Robin at his camp that night, since Henry was staying with Emma. She sat by the fire with him, listening to Little John tell a story about one of the Merry Men’s less successful adventures, trying to embarrass Robin. His friends were starting to accept her, and she was grateful, but she couldn’t understand why. She didn’t deserve Robin and they all knew it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She leaned her head on Robin’s shoulder, trying to focus on the story and not her pessimistic thoughts. But she never could keep them at bay. Instead, they got louder and louder until she couldn’t hear anything else. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I should go.” She told him when Little John finished his story. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She got up and walked away before Robin could reply. But he followed her, like he always did.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, what’s wrong?” He asked when he caught up to her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She considered using her magic to leave, but she decided that she at least owed him an explanation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t stay.” She replied. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did something happen? Are you not feeling well?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean I can’t stay with you. I won’t let myself hurt you like I hurt everyone else. You deserve better than me, and you’ll be happier without me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not true, Regina.” Robin insisted. “How many times do I have to tell you that you can’t hurt me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can say it until you’re blue in the face, but I’ll never believe it.” She answered. “Darkness and pain follow me everywhere, and I won’t let you get caught up in it too. I have to let you go. Please, just let me let you go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She left in a cloud of purple smoke. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Quiet when I’m coming home and I’m on my own</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina expected to be alone for the rest of the night. But about ten minutes after she got home, she heard a knock at her door. She sighed, knowing who it was before she even answered it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Robin,” she greeted him as she opened the door. “What do you want?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why wouldn’t he leave her alone? Why couldn’t he accept that this would never work and move on? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I come inside?” Robin asked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina nodded and he followed her into the living room. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you like a drink?” She offered as he sat down on the couch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” He shook his head. “I just want to talk to you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“About what?” She asked, sitting down beside him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you keep pushing me away?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know why.” She answered. “I can’t have a happy ending. Being with me will only ever bring you pain.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And what if I refuse to accept that?” He questioned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because you make me happy.” He told her. “And I want to make you happy too. I want to put a smile on that beautiful face of yours.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And what if you can’t?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t give up on you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if I want you to give up?” Regina asked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A look of hurt crossed Robin’s face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, do you want to be with me?” He asked her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“More than anything.” She answered honestly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why do you want me to leave so badly?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to get hurt.” She started to cry. “I’m not worth it. I don’t even deserve you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He reached out to pull her into his arms and she melted into his touch. She rested her head on his chest and let him wipe the tears from her face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You are worth it." He told her softly. "You deserve to be happy, my love.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina closed her eyes and let the sound of his heartbeat soothe her, wanting very badly to believe him. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. She Will Be Loved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Based on She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Beauty queen of only eighteen</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She had some trouble with herself</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He was always there to help her</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She always belonged to someone else </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin sat a few feet away from Regina at his camp, entranced by how beautiful she looked in the firelight. She was absolutely stunning, as always, and it made him sad to know that she didn’t see it. He knew she didn’t look in the mirror and see the strong, beautiful woman she really was. All she saw was a monster. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was well aware that she had a dark past. She’d endured near constant trauma from a very young age. Her abusive mother had murdered her first love, Daniel, in front of her and forced her to marry a king old enough to be her father, who was also abusive and neglectful. And she’d never been able to really move past what happened to Daniel. She’d spent decades pushing everyone away, afraid to open up. Afraid to get close to anyone. She didn’t want to risk getting her again, or anyone else getting hurt because of her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was finally starting to open up to him, and he would never push her to move faster than she was comfortable with. He did wish that she would stop pushing him away. But he was willing to move at her pace. He had to be patient with her. He loved her. And he would do whatever she needed him to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I drove for miles and miles </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And wound up at your door</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve had you so many times</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>But somehow, I want more </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next day, Robin didn’t see much of Regina at all. Roland kept him busy enough, and he was sure she was busy with her work. But he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He couldn’t stop worrying about her. No matter what he was doing, she was constantly in the back of his mind. And there was nothing he could do to keep her out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After dinner, he decided to get in his car and drive around Storybrooke for a little while. He was glad Regina had convinced him to learn to drive. He found that he quite enjoyed it. And it was much more convenient than any form of transportation back in the Enchanted Forest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he drove into town, he thought he might go to Granny’s and have a drink. But instead, he found himself driving to Regina’s house. He should’ve known he’d end up here. He just couldn’t stay away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He walked up to her house and knocked on her door. She looked slightly surprised when she answered it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Robin, I wasn’t expecting you tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wanted to see you.” He told her. “If this is a bad time I can come back tomorrow or something.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, you’re fine.” She smiled. “Come in.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin reached for Regina’s hand as she led him inside, and she took it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Something smells good in here.” He remarked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I made some apple tarts.” She told him. “Do you want one?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are they poisoned?” He joked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t be offering you one if they were.” She retorted. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“In that case, I would love one.” He replied. “Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She led him to the kitchen and gave him a pastry. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How is it?” She asked, leaning against the counter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s delicious.” He answered sincerely. “But you know what would taste even better?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She giggled as he leaned in to kiss her. Robin had probably kissed her a hundred times by now. But every time still felt like the first. It was absolutely electric. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before. Maybe it was the soulmate thing. Maybe it was something else. But he swore he could just stand there and kiss her forever. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, Regina.” He told her when they finally pulled apart.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, too.” She whispered back, as though she were afraid to say the words.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She leaned in to kiss him again, and this time, he let her lead him up to her bedroom. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t mind spending every day</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Out on your corner in the pouring rain</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Look for the girl with the broken smile</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ask her if she wants to stay a while </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few days later, Robin walked through the cemetery in the pouring rain looking for Regina. He assumed she was in her vault, looking for a spell to help defeat the Snow Queen. She had been spending most of her spare time there recently, and he was growing increasingly concerned for her well-being. She was becoming far too consumed with this. He knew the Snow Queen was a problem, he just didn’t understand why Regina thought she needed to solve it all on her own. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to enter the mausoleum, but she had sealed it with blood magic. He took out his phone to call her. He was planning on taking her out to lunch. She needed a break from this and he needed to make sure she was taking care of herself. And he would wait outside for her as long as he needed to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello?” She answered on the last ring.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you eaten yet, love?” Robin asked, already knowing the answer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I’ve decided that you do.” He retorted. “Now come up here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you waiting outside?” Regina asked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am.” He told her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She sighed. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be out in a minute.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Great. Love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A couple minutes later, the door to the mausoleum opened and Regina stepped out. He took her hand and smiled, and she returned it with a small smile of her own. He loved seeing her smile. He hoped that one day, that smile would appear on her face without the sadness that always showed from just behind it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin managed to convince Regina to go down to the beach with him after lunch instead of going straight back to her vault. He held her hand as they walked along the shore. He hoped he was doing something to ease her worries, or at least distract her. He just wanted her to be happy. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled her closer to him and kissed her deeply, not caring if anyone saw them. He loved her, and he wasn’t going to let someone get in the way of that just because they hated her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She gave him a small smile when they pulled away, and he reached out to gently cup her face, moving a strand of hair behind her ear. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you.” He told her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Personally, I think you could do better than her.” Gold remarked as he walked by them, interrupting their moment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin hadn’t even realized the Dark One was on the beach. He turned around to face him and saw him standing in the sand with Belle. He wanted to go punch the smug look right off his sorry face. But he stayed put, and held Regina a little closer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well nobody fucking asked you.” He shot back instead. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Rumple, don’t.” Belle urged him. “Let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gold gave them a dirty look before nodding and following Belle further down the beach. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I should probably get back to the vault.” Regina said quietly, suddenly looking very insecure. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t have to let him ruin our afternoon.” Robin replied. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not just him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, I don’t care what the rest of the town thinks about you.” He told her. “I don’t care about them. If they can’t see you for the incredible woman you really are, that’s their problem. I love you and I will keep loving you until the day I die. And I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about it. There is nothing they can do or say that could ever make me stop loving you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Tap on my window, knock on my door</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to make you feel beautiful</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I know I tend to get so insecure</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Doesn’t matter anymore </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next night, Robin sat watch by the fire while Roland and the rest of the Merry Men were sleeping. He hadn’t seen Regina since their date the day before. As far as he knew, she had stayed locked up in her vault since then. She wasn’t even answering his texts or phone calls. He was worried about her. He knew her well enough to know that she didn’t take very good care of herself. He doubted she’d eaten or slept much since he last saw her. He’d gone down there to check on her in the afternoon, but she wouldn’t let him in. He wished he could try to check on her again. He missed her so much. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of footsteps approaching snapped him out of his thoughts. He immediately stood up and grabbed his bow, only to see Regina walking towards the camp. He let out a sigh of relief, partly because he was glad it wasn’t an intruder, but mostly because he had wanted to see her. To make sure she was okay.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He walked over to meet her at the edge of the camp and pulled her into a hug. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You scared me.” He remarked. “I thought you were an intruder.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She let out a small laugh and leaned her head against his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wanted to see you.” She told him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been wanting to see you too.” Robin replied. “I was worried about you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” Regina assured him, although he remained unconvinced. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He took her hand and led her back to the fire. She sat down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful, baby.” He whispered. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m not.” She replied sadly. “I’m just a monster.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You are not a monster.” He insisted. “You’re beautiful, inside and out. You’re the strongest, most resilient person I’ve ever met. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So do I.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He tilted her chin up and kissed her softly. The kiss quickly grew deeper. He knew that someone could walk out of their tent and see them. But he didn’t care. In that moment, nothing mattered but her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not always rainbows and butterflies </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s compromise that moves us along, yeah</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>My heart is full and my door’s always open</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You can come anytime you want, yeah </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin went to Regina’s office the next day, because she told him to meet her there for lunch. But when he arrived at noon, the time she told him to be there, she was nowhere to be found. He texted her and called her, and got no response. He went to Granny’s to see if she was already there waiting for him, but she wasn’t. Then he went to her house and knocked on her door, but there was no answer. He even texted Emma and Snow to see if either of them had seen her, and neither of them had. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was hoping that she hadn’t gone to her vault again, but he couldn’t think of anywhere else she could be. So he went to the mausoleum, and sure enough, he found her there, reading a spell book. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, what the hell?” He asked when he entered the room. “You told me to meet you at noon and then you weren’t there. What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wasn’t in the mood.” She replied, not looking at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why didn’t you let me know?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina just shrugged in reply. He sat down beside her and for a while, they just sat there in silence. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you mad at me?” She asked eventually.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m not mad at you.” Robin reached over and took her hand. “You just worried me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She gave him a slightly confused look, like she still wasn’t used to having someone who cared enough about her to worry. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” She muttered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s no need to apologize, love.” He kissed her softly. “Do you want to talk about what happened this morning?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just having a bad day.” Regina replied. “I had a nightmare last night and I thought I could forget about it, but I can’t.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Was it about your mother?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She shook her head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Leopold.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin could tell from the look in her eyes that she was back in her nightmare again. She was looking in his direction, but she wasn’t really looking at him. It almost felt like she was staring straight through him. He wiped a tear that fell from her cheek, trying to redirect her attention away from the memories that haunted her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, sweetheart, I would never lay a hand on you.” He promised. “I will never hurt you like he did.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” She whispered. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She moved closer to him, and he pulled her into his arms and comforted her as she cried. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll always be here for you, my love.” He told her. “No matter what.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t mind spending every day</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Out on your corner in the pouring rain</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Look for the girl with the broken smile</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ask her if she wants to stay a while</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin spent the rest of the day with Regina. He wanted to make sure she was alright, and she didn’t seem to want him to leave. He ended up going back to her house with her that evening, taking Roland with him, who was excited to spend time with Henry. The boys were upstairs in Henry’s room, while Robin sat on the couch with Regina. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” She said randomly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“For what?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve spent literally all day with me.” She explained. “You shouldn’t have to take care of me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t mind taking care of you, honey.” Robin told her. “I want to. You deserve to have someone to take care of you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just don’t want to be a burden.” Regina replied. “You have enough to deal with without having to worry about me all the time.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not a burden.” He insisted. “I would do anything for you. And if you ever need me, I will always be there for you. You will never be a burden to me, Regina.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure.” He planted a soft kiss in her hair and she cuddled up against him. “I love you so much.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Later that night, Robin laid in Regina’s bed with her. He had been sleeping, until she had woken him up by squirming in his arms, muttering something he couldn’t quite understand. He knew she was having another nightmare. He wanted to wake her, but he knew he shouldn’t. So instead, he tried to soothe her as gently as possible, hoping he could calm her without waking her up. But she didn’t calm down, and after a while, she woke up on her own, gasping as her eyes flew open, filled with fear. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, love, it’s alright.” He told her, holding her as close as he could. “It was just a nightmare. You’re safe.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She curled up against him, starting to cry. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked softly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She just shook her head in reply. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin held her there for what seemed like hours, refusing to fall asleep until she had. No one else in her life had ever been there to protect her before. No one had ever really loved her before. But he would. He would love her until the day he died. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I know where you hide </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Alone in your car</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Know all of the things that make you who you are </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin got a call from Emma the next day, asking if he knew where Regina was. She had been on her way to her office when he left her house a few hours earlier. He hadn’t heard anything from her since. He called her and she didn’t answer, so he got in his car to go look for her. He found her sitting in her car, which was parked in the middle of the woods. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knocked on her window.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I come in?” He asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She unlocked the car and he got in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I kinda wanted to be left alone.” Regina remarked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why did you let me in?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I need to talk to you.” She told him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“About what?” Robin questioned. “Is something wrong, honey?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, I love you, and I hope you know that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I do.” He tried to take her hand, but she pulled it away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, don’t interrupt me. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” His stomach dropped. “I love you. You know me better than anyone. Somehow, you understand me in a way no one else ever has. I know you love me. But that’s why I have to leave you. Bad things happen to people who love me. And I can’t let anything happen to you. I don’t deserve you anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, you do.” He insisted. “Please stop pushing me away.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” She replied. “You should go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t want to keep arguing with her either. So he got out of the car and left.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I know that goodbye means nothing at all</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Comes back and makes me catch her every time she falls, yeah </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin drove back to camp and spent the rest of the day keeping himself busy. He was trying to keep his mind off Regina. It wasn’t working very well. She lived rent free in his mind whether he wanted her to or not.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Truthfully, he usually didn’t mind. He liked thinking about her. She made him happy. She had walked into his life and turned his world upside down and he didn’t care at all. He was so in love with her that he normally  didn’t mind if she occupied a fair amount of his thoughts. But today, he minded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t angry with her. He was just frustrated that she kept pushing him away when she wanted to be with him. He understood why she kept doing it. He just wished he could make her understand that it was okay to stop.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin knew that Regina would come back to him. She always did. He would be absolutely devastated if she didn’t, although he wasn’t sure if she realized that or not. He didn’t know what he would do if she decided to leave for good.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Luckily for him, he didn’t have to worry about that. That evening, Regina called him. He picked up immediately.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Robin, I um, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about earlier.” She sounded like she had been crying. “I know I don’t deserve you. But I don’t want to live without you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to, love.” He replied. “I will always be here if you want me to be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you.” She said softly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Tap on my window, knock on my door </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to make you feel beautiful </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin talked on the phone with Regina for almost an hour before she hung up and he went to bed. It was late, and he wasn’t expecting to hear from her again that night. But before he could even fall asleep, he heard footsteps outside his tent.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Robin?” It was Regina. “Can I come in?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” He called back. She unzipped the tent and climbed inside. “Come here, baby.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She laid down beside him and he wrapped his arms around her. She curled up against him and rested her head on his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure you don’t mind me being here?” She asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I will never mind you being here, love.” Robin told her. “If you said you wanted to move out here with me, I would say yes in a heartbeat.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m absolutely not living in a tent with you.” She laughed. “But I wouldn’t say no if you and Roland wanted to move in with me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you really want to live together?” He asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” Regina replied. “But it’s probably a bad idea.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why is that?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“First of all, it’s probably too soon for us to move in together.” She explained. “Second, anything involving me is a bad idea. I’m a mistake, and the sooner you get that in your head, the better off you’ll be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not a mistake, Regina.” He insisted. “You’re a strong, beautiful woman. And I will find a way to get that in your head if it’s the last thing I do. That being said, if you don’t think we should move in together yet, we don’t have to. I will never pressure you into doing something you’re not ready to do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She planted a soft kiss on his chest before laying her head back down. And he held her closer until they both fell asleep.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t mind spending every day </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Look for the girl with the broken smile</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ask her if she wants to stay a while </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin went to Regina’s office the next day to pick her up for lunch. She gave him a small smile when he walked in. She stood up and walked across the room to meet him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love seeing you smile.” He remarked, leaning down to kiss her. “I wish I saw it more often.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re one of the only people who sees it at all.” She replied. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He kissed her again, a little deeper this time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want to make you happy.” Robin told her when they pulled apart. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You do.” She assured him. “Even if I don’t-,”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare say you don’t deserve it.” He cut her off. “Because you do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish I could believe that.” Regina said sadly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope someday you will.” He replied. “You’ve worked so hard for this. You deserve to have a happy ending.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t say anything else. She just grabbed his collar and kissed him again. And for a while, they were content to just stay like that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And she will be loved </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin and Regina laid in her bed naked that night, after they finished making love. He held her close and trailed kisses down her face and neck. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re stunning.” He whispered against her skin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re perfect in every imaginable way.” She replied. “And I don’t deserve you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You do deserve me.” Robin insisted. “Although for the record, I’m far from perfect.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Compared to me you are.” She countered. “But to be fair, that’s not setting the bar very high.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re too hard on yourself, love.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Considering the things I’ve done, I-,”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not the woman who did those things anymore.” He cut her off. “And you deserve a second chance. So give yourself one.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I can.” Regina told him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then I’ll do it for you.” He replied. “Whenever you think you don’t deserve a happy ending, I’ll be there to remind you that you do. And whenever you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved, I’ll be there to remind you that you do and you are. I love you, Regina.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” She nodded. “And I love you too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t mind spending every day </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Out on your corner in the pouring rain </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Please don’t try so hard to say goodbye </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Three days later, Robin stood on Regina’s doorstep. Earlier that day, she had pushed him away again, still trying to convince him that he would be better off without her. But she was wrong, and he would find a way to make her see that, no matter how long it took. He was in love with her, and he was never going to give up on her, even if she had given up on herself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knocked on her door and waited a minute for her to answer. When she didn’t, he knocked again. He would wait out here all night if he had to. But after another minute, she answered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Robin, I don’t know what part of this you don’t understand.” Regina snapped. “This will never end well for you. Nothing good comes from loving me. And I don’t deserve your love anyway. I can never have nor do I deserve a happy ending. I’m the Evil Queen.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not.” Robin insisted. “You’re my soulmate. I have never been this in love with anyone before, and it’ll be a cold day in hell before I give up on you. I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then stop trying so hard to end this. Stop pushing me away.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to push you away.” She told him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then don’t.” He took her hands. “Just let me love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded and let him inside. When she closed the door behind them, he pulled her close and kissed her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Promise me you’ll stop pushing me away.” Robin pleaded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise.” Regina whispered. “I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed that. I'll have more soonish. Thanks for reading! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. In the Name of Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Based on In the Name of Love by Martin Garrix &amp; Bebe Rexha</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Regina’s POV</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If I told you this was only gonna hurt </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If I warned you that the fire’s gonna burn</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Would you walk in? Would you let me do it first?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Do it all in the name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina waited impatiently for Robin to arrive for their date. She had no idea why she was so nervous. It wasn’t like this was their first date. But that feeling of anxiety just wouldn’t leave her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She sat on her couch, trying her best to stay calm. But it wasn’t working. She briefly debated how bad it would be if she was already drunk when he came to pick her up, and ultimately decided that it would be sad and pathetic. So she stayed sober, unable to do anything to quiet her thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After what seemed like an hour, she finally heard a knock on her door. She got up and crossed the room, forcing herself not to walk too fast. Robin smiled when she opened the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you ready for our date?” He asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded, unable to come up with a snarky reply like she wanted to. He took her hand and led her out to his car, opening the door for her to get in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You look beautiful.” Robin remarked, sitting down in the driver's seat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.” She replied quietly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” Regina assured him. “I’ve just been a little on edge today.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright.” He comforted her, placing his hand over hers. “You’re safe with me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” She squeezed his hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina would never understand how she got this lucky. Robin was perfect in every way. So why did he want to be with someone as broken and damaged as her? How could he possibly love someone like her? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She had promised him that she would stop pushing him away, and she had meant it. But that didn’t mean she understood why he wanted to stay. He knew that pain and hurt were all that followed her. He knew that being with her was like playing with fire. He knew he would inevitably get burned. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But he chose to stay anyway. He chose to let her into his life. To let her into his heart. Because he loved her. He truly loved her, in a way no one had ever loved her before. He promised that he would always love her. And as hard as it was, she was actually starting to believe him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Would you let me lead you even when you’re blind?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In the darkness, in the middle of the night </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In the silence, when there’s no one by your side</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Would you call in the name of love?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their date was going well, until it was unfortunately interrupted by a crisis with the Snow Queen. Regina got a call from Emma when they were halfway through dinner and had to rush to the woods to help her. She told Robin to stay put, but he insisted on following her out there. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She and Emma didn’t really defeat the Snow Queen. Instead, they defeated the snow monster she created while she escaped. Emma had wanted to go after her, but Regina wouldn’t go. Robin had been hit by the monster’s attack. She had to take care of him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She knelt down in front of him and lifted his shirt to examine his wound. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I?” She asked before touching it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, I trust you.” He assured her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded and used her magic to heal the wound. It wasn’t too bad, but he still looked amazed when she was finished.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” She told him. “This is all my fault.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is not your fault, sweetheart.” He replied, taking her hand. “This is my fault for not listening to you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But if you weren’t with me, if we hadn’t been on that date, you would never have been here to begin with.” She pointed out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t regret a single moment of tonight.” Robin told her. “I don’t regret a single moment I’ve spent with you, my love.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they made it back to town, Robin took Regina home and went back to camp. But a couple of hours later, she heard a knock on her door. It was Robin, holding Roland in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Regina asked. “It’s getting late.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This might sound pathetic, but I wanted to stay with you tonight.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My mother would think that’s pathetic, but I don’t.” She told him. “Honestly, I wanted to be with you tonight too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She took Robin’s hand and led him upstairs. They put Roland to bed in the guest bedroom before going to her room. They got undressed, but they didn’t have sex. They just crawled in bed and cuddled up to each other. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you really feel more comfortable sleeping here?” She asked him after a while.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Tonight I do.” He replied. “And I decided to come here, where I know Roland and I are safe.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How can you possibly feel safe with me?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I trust you.” He told her. “I know you’ll do your best to keep me and Roland safe, just as I’ll do for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina didn’t know what to say. He was right in that she would do anything in her power to protect him and his son. But she wasn’t sure why he trusted her to do so. No one had ever put that kind of faith in her before. Even Henry stopped trusting her after he found the book, and she was still working to earn back that trust. So for Robin to just give it to her unconditionally when she had done nothing to deserve it was mind boggling. But yet he did. And despite everything that had happened to her in the past, she had the same trust in him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In the name of love, name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In the name of love, name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina walked through the forest with Robin, on the pretense of scouting the woods for the Snow Queen. Sure, technically they were doing that, but it was really just an excuse to spend time together. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t used to enjoy spending a lot of time in nature. But for some reason, with him, she did. Then again, she would enjoy doing just about anything with Robin. She supposed that was a side effect of being in love.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I never thought I would be in love like this again.” She remarked to him, taking his hand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Me either.” He replied. “I never knew that my soulmate was still out there waiting for me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess in the back of my mind I did. But I thought I had ruined any chance I had with the man with the lion tattoo.” Regina told him. “I never dreamed he would walk into my life someday.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>‘But I did.” Robin squeezed her hand a little tighter. “And I’m never leaving. There’s nothing that could make me abandon what we have. Nothing that could make me abandon the love of my life.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Me either.” She promised. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Robin’s POV</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If I told you we could bathe in all the lights</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Would you rise up, come and meet me in the sky?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Would you trust me when you’re jumping from the heights?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Would you fall in the name of love? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin felt completely at peace when he was with Regina. Like no matter what happened, they would always be able to get through it. Because they were meant to be together. They were soulmates. But he couldn’t help but wonder if she felt the same way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knew she loved him, and that she wanted to be with him. But he also knew that she was too pessimistic to believe that things would work out for them. She just couldn’t quite let go of her belief that she didn’t deserve him. That she didn’t deserve love or happiness. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wondered if Regina trusted him as completely as he trusted her. He wondered if she could trust him, after everything she’d been through. He couldn’t blame her if she didn’t. But he hoped she did. Or at least, he hoped she would be able to someday. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin hoped that she at least felt safe with him. That she knew he would never hurt her. That he would never let anyone else hurt her. He would do absolutely anything for her. He was a safe person for her to turn to. For her to fall for. She meant everything to him. And he desperately wished she understood that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>When there’s madness, when there’s poison in your head</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>When the sadness leaves you broken in your bed</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I will hold you in the depths of your despair </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And it’s all in the name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next night, Robin held Regina in her bed, trying to comfort her. She had woken up in the middle of the night, shaking and terrified. At first, she was afraid to reach out to him, as if she might burn him if she touched him. But after a few moments, she let him wrap her in his arms. She immediately started sobbing into his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you have a nightmare?” He asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” She replied quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Was it about your mother?” She shook her head. “Leopold?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No. It was about me.” She explained. “I hurt you. I took your heart out of your chest and I crushed it. I killed you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, love.” Robin comforted her. “I know you would never do that. I know you would never hurt me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to hurt you. But it’s probably inevitable. I hurt everyone, even the people I love. I’m evil. I’m a monster.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not evil.” He assured her. “You are not a monster.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I feel like one.” Regina told him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But you’re not.” He planted a soft kiss in her hair. “You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met. You’re my soulmate. And I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In the name of love, name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In the name of love, name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin held Regina in his arms until she cried herself back to sleep. Once her breathing evened out, he planted a soft kiss in her hair, careful not to wake her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He silently prayed that she would have more pleasant dreams this time. That she wouldn’t wake up crying and scared from another nightmare. But if she did, he would be there to comfort her. He would stay up with her as long as she needed him to. He would do anything for her. Because he loved her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Regina’s POV</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna testify</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Scream in the holy light</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You bring me back to life </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And it’s all in the name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next night, Regina laid in her bed with Robin again. Well, more accurately, she was laying in bed under him as he made love to her. She moaned as he moved inside her. He was easily the best she’d ever had.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Every touch was electric. Every kiss was mind blowing. She had never felt anything this amazing before. It was like he had memorized every inch of her body without even trying. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She had no idea how he did it. How he was this good. She supposed it had something to do with true love. But ultimately, how he was doing it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was there with her. Bringing her back from the darkness. Bringing her back to life. He had managed to find a part of her she had thought was long gone. And she would be forever grateful to him for it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Robin’s POV</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanna testify</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Scream in the holy light</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You bring me back to life </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And it’s all in the name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin held Regina after they finished. He was in a state of pure bliss, and he could tell she was too. She was easily the best he’d ever had. Even with Marian, it had never been like this. It had never felt this good. It had never felt this right.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Every day he spent with her, he became more and more certain that she was his soulmate. Not just because a fairy with pixie dust said they were. He could genuinely feel it in his soul. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had never felt anything like it before in his life. He hadn’t known he could be this in love with someone. It was a wonderful revelation. She was the love of his life. And he would fight for her until his last breath.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In the name of love, name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In the name of love, name of love </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin sat on Regina’s couch the next evening after dinner. Roland was off playing with Henry, which gave him an opportunity to discuss something with her that he’d been wanting to for a while.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, can I ask you something?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How would you feel about Roland and I moving in with you?” Robin asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I would love that.” She replied. “But are you sure you want to do that? We haven’t been together that long, and I’m, well, you know, me. Are you sure that’s the best idea?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am.” He answered. “I’ve thought a lot about it. I know that you’re the one I’m meant to be with. And Roland would love living here. He absolutely adores you. So yes, I’m sure I want to move in with you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll have to talk to Henry about it.” Regina told him. “But if he’s comfortable with you moving in, then my answer is yes. I want to live with you. I want to wake up beside you every day for the rest of my life.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So do I.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you.” She leaned in and kissed him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you're enjoying this so far. I'll have more soonish. Thanks for reading! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Forever is a long time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Based on Forever ... (is a long time) by Halsey</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I originally planned for this to have 12 chapters, but I realized I only need 9 to tell this story. This song was originally supposed to be for chapter 7, but now it's chapter 4. </p>
<p>Also, I wouldn't normally say this, but if you haven't heard the song this is based on before, I would highly recommend you listen to it before you read this chapter. </p>
<p>Trigger warning: suicide attempt</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I spent a long time watering a plant made out of plastic</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And I cursed the ground for growing green</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I spent a long time substituting honest with sarcastic</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And I cursed my tongue for being mean </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few days later, Regina sat on the couch, watching a movie with Robin, Roland, and Henry. It felt like they were a real family. Like this was the way it had always been, not like Robin and Roland had just moved in that afternoon. It was perfect, and it seemed too good to be true. But yet it was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She had never thought she would have this. She had spent so many years building up walls to keep everyone out. To protect her from getting hurt again. But one day, Robin walked into her life and they all came crashing down. It was crazy that they got to this point so fast. Considering who she was, it was a miracle they had gotten there at all. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After Daniel died, she never thought she could love again. So she cast a curse to keep the people she blamed for her misery trapped in a fake world she ruled over. She thought that would make her happy, but it never did. And that made her hate everyone even more. She had become a mean, bitter creature that no one wanted to be around. But Robin had changed all that. And she knew she could never let herself go back to the way things were. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And weightless, breathless restitute </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Motionless and absolute</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You cut me open, sucked the poison from an aging wound </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina woke up in Robin’s arms the next morning and smiled at the sight of him, still sleeping peacefully. It was comforting to think that she would wake up like this every day for the rest of her life. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin had completely changed her life for the better. He had sucked the poison from her wounds and stitched her back up again, never blinking twice about her past. He had been everything she wanted and needed. And he was far better than someone like her deserved. She just wished that she could be as perfect for him as he was for her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Now fifty thousand war cadets</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Would cower at this small brunette</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>To my surprise, not six feet high</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Would reach and grab the moon if I</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Should ask or just imply</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Later that day, Regina sat in her vault, desperately searching for a way to stop the Snow Queen’s curse. But she couldn’t find anything. The curse was going to be cast, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This was a nightmare scenario. This curse was meant to bring out the worst in people. And it was going to turn her into the monster she feared she was. The monster she had tried to bury for so long. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After looking through every book and potion she had and finding nothing, she left the vault and drove back home, feeling like she might cry. When she got inside, Robin was sitting on the couch waiting for her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you find anything?” He asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” She shook her head, sitting down beside him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He put his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s gonna be alright, sweetheart.” Robin told her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina sighed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it’s not.” She replied. “Look, you know that I would do anything for you, Henry, and Roland. I would grab the moon for you if I needed to. But the Evil Queen wouldn’t. This is the woman who could make her soldiers do anything for her because they were afraid of her. This is the woman who killed her own father to cast a curse. She’s a monster. And if she comes out, no one will be safe. Not even you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, look at me.” He tilted her chin up so he could look her in the eyes. “You are not a monster. And I’m not afraid of you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You should be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That I wanted a bit more light</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>So I could look inside his eyes</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And get the colors just right</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Just right, just right, just </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina stared at Robin for a few moments, trying to memorize his face. Trying to memorize the look of love in his eyes. She feared this could be the last time she ever saw it. After the curse hit, he would look at her the way everyone else did. With fear and hatred. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There is nothing you could do to make me fear you.” He assured her. “There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. No matter what happens when the curse hits, when it’s all over, I’m still going to be in love with you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t know that.” She replied.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can.” Robin insisted. “You’re my soulmate, and nothing will ever change that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you’re right.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know I am.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He leaned down and kissed her. When they pulled away, she went back to memorizing the love in his beautiful, blue eyes, hoping the look in them would never change. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Build love, build God, build provinces</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Build calluses, break promises</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Cause I could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The curse was cast, then broken. And Regina had become the monster she knew deep down she always was. After it was over, she stumbled home miserably and sat down on the couch to wait for Robin. Part of her wanted him there to hold her, and tell her that the love they had built could withstand anything. That he would never leave her, no matter what happened. But a larger part of her was glad he wasn’t home yet. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was thankful that she hadn’t hurt Robin, Henry, or Roland. But her fear that she could had grown exponentially. Together, they were a perfect family. But nothing perfect in her life was ever going to last. It wasn’t possible. She was too damaged. She destroyed everything she touched. And she knew it was only a matter of time until she destroyed this too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What am I thinking? What does this mean?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>How could somebody ever love me?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Talk to your man, tell him he’s got bad news comin’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina sat there thinking until she felt like her darkest thoughts were consuming her. She thought she knew how to control the darkness inside of her. She thought that if she had Robin, she could tame her demons. But what if she couldn’t? She was trying her best, but now, she realized it didn’t matter what she did. Her best was never going to be good enough. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She had never understood how Robin could love her. She was a monster. Robin could tell her she wasn’t the Evil Queen anymore until he was blue in the face, but that wouldn’t make it true. She would always be the Evil Queen. And she was always going to be a danger to the people she cared about. To the people she loved. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She got off the couch, walked to the bathroom, and locked the door. She opened the cabinet, took out a bottle of Tylenol, and poured out a handful of pills. Then she filled a glass with water and swallowed them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t have to live in fear anymore. She would never hurt anyone again. She looked in the mirror and smiled in relief. Then everything went black. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll have more soonish. Thanks for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hold On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning: several references to a suicide attempt</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Loving and fighting</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Accusing, denying</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t imagine a world with you gone </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The joy and the chaos, the demons we’re made of</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’d be so lost if you left me alone </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin drove home with Roland after the curse had been lifted. He hadn’t seen Regina since the day before. He’d heard from others that she was physically fine, but a little shaken. Her fear before the curse had him even more worried about her than usual. He hoped and prayed that she was okay. He couldn’t imagine what he would do without her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their relationship wasn’t easy. They both had their own demons. But there was no doubt in his mind that they could fight them together. That as long as they had each other, they would be alright no matter what life threw at them. There would be bad times, but there would be good ones too. And all of it, no matter how good or bad, was more than worth it if it meant he got to be with her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You locked yourself in the bathroom</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Lying on the floor when I break through</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I pull you in to feel your heartbeat</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Can you hear me screaming, “Please don’t leave me!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Robin got inside, he expected to see Regina sitting on the couch waiting for him. But she wasn’t. And she wasn’t in the kitchen either. He felt fear creep up inside him. He knew she was home because her car was in the driveway. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stay in the living room.” He told Roland.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He decided to go up and check her bedroom, but that was empty too. He noticed that the bathroom door was closed, so he knocked on it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, are you in there?” He called.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was no answer. He tried to open the door, but it was locked. He started to panic. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina!” He yelled, banging on the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was still no answer. He suddenly found himself wishing he knew magic so he could unlock the door. But he couldn’t. So instead, he had to kick the door down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he finally broke through, he saw Regina laying on the floor, unconscious. His stomach dropped. Then he noticed the open bottle of Tylenol and the empty glass on the counter. He started to cry as he knelt down beside her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, baby, please wake up.” He begged her, trying to shake her awake.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled her into his arms. She was still breathing, but she wouldn’t wake up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina, wake up!” He sobbed. “Please, don’t leave me. I love you. Please, wake up!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She gave no response. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hold on, I still want you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Come back, I still need you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Let me take your hand, I’ll make it right</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I swear to love you all my life</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hold on, I still need you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin took his phone out of his pocket and dialed 9-1-1. She needed medical attention immediately, and he knew he was too panicked to drive her to the hospital himself. He wasn’t even sure if he was supposed to move her in her condition. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” The operator asked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I found my girlfriend unconscious on the bathroom floor. There’s some pills on the counter. I think she tried to…,” he trailed off, unable to say it. “I think she took them.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The operator asked him for the address and told him that an ambulance would be on the way, then instructed him on how to move her to the recovery position until paramedics arrived. When he hung up, he stayed with Regina while he waited for the ambulance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hold on, sweetheart.” He told her. “You’re gonna be okay. I need you to be okay. I don’t wanna live without you. I can’t live without you. I swear I will love you for the rest of my life. I’m gonna do whatever I can to take care of you. Please, come back to me, my love.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Long endless highway, you’re silent beside me</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Driving a nightmare I can’t escape from</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Helplessly praying, the light isn’t fading</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After what felt like an eternity, the ambulance arrived and the EMTs put Regina on a stretcher. Emma had agreed to take Roland for the night and had already picked him up. Robin hadn’t been able to bring himself to tell her anything other than that she’d had a medical emergency. He hadn’t even wanted to see her, so he told her to just use magic to get in and out so he wouldn’t have to go to the door to let her in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now, he was sitting in the passenger seat of the ambulance. It wasn’t a very long drive to the hospital, but it felt endless when he knew that Regina was lying unresponsive in the back. Part of him had always feared she might hurt herself one day, but he never in a million years thought it would actually happen. Now he was living in a nightmare, and there was no escape from it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin had never felt this helpless in his life. He desperately wished he knew how to save her. But there was nothing he could do but sit there and pray to any god that might be out there that she would live. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They took you away on a table</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I pace back and forth as you lay still</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They pull you in to feel your heartbeat</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Can you hear me screaming, “Please don’t leave me!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they arrived at the hospital, Regina was wheeled into the emergency room. Robin was instructed to stay in the waiting room, where he paced back and forth restlessly. All he wanted was to sit by her side, but he had to wait for the doctors to tell him he could. After a while, he was joined in the waiting room by Emma.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you were watching Roland and Henry.” Robin remarked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I left them with my parents.” She explained. “I needed to see if Regina is okay. I know you don’t think I care about her, but I do. Henry wanted to come with me, but I told him he could come see her in the morning.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If she’s still alive in the morning.” His worst fear came pouring out of his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell happened?” Emma asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She…, she tried to...,” he trailed off, not sure if he could continue. He took a deep breath. “She took a bunch of pills.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh God,” she muttered. “Will she live?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have no idea.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Emma leaned back against the wall and buried her head in her hands. He could hear her start to cry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just…,” she said through her tears. “I just can’t help but feel responsible. Like I should’ve seen this coming.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You feel responsible?” He grabbed her hands and forced her to look at him. “You should’ve seen this coming? How the fuck do you think I feel? I’m with her every damn day, she tells me more than she tells any of you, and I still didn’t see this coming. I just came home and found the love of my life unconscious on the bathroom floor!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin broke down crying for what seemed like the millionth time that night. Emma reached out and hugged him, and for a while, they just stood there, crying in each other’s arms, neither of them really able to comfort the other. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hold on, I still want you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Come back, I still need you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Let me take your hand, I’ll make it right</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I swear to love you all my life</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hold on, I still need you </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin didn’t sleep at all that night. As soon as the doctors told him that it was okay to go see her, he went to her room. He hadn’t moved from his chair by her bed for hours, except to go to the bathroom. She still hadn’t woken up, but Dr. Whale said he thought she would live. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next morning, Emma brought Henry to see Regina. He had thought his heart couldn’t be anymore broken about this, but when he saw the kid’s tear streaked face, he knew he had been wrong. Henry walked to the opposite side of the bed from where Robin was sitting and grabbed her hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom?” He called softly. “Mom, please wake up.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regina didn’t react at all. Henry leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. He stood up and looked at her like he was hoping that would wake her up. But it didn’t work. His gaze turned to Robin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is your fault.” He accused.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Henry,” Emma tried to interject, but Henry ignored her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You promised that you would protect her.” He cried. “That you wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. But you lied. She hurt herself and you didn’t stop her.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wasn’t at home when it happened.” Robin replied. “But I should’ve been. And I will regret that I wasn’t until the day I die. But I promise that I will make this right.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Henry retorted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin sighed. The promise he made wouldn’t mean a damn thing if she didn’t wake up. If she didn’t come back to him. He prayed for the millionth time that she would. He needed her. And so did her son.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t wanna let go</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I know I’m not that strong</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I just wanna hear you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Saying “baby, let’s go home”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin sat beside Regina’s bed for hours, just waiting for her to wake up. To open her eyes and tell him to take her home. He needed her to wake up. He didn’t know what he would do if she didn’t. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knew he couldn’t handle it if she died. He wasn’t strong enough to let her go. He just refused to do it. He had been through this once already when Marion died. He couldn’t go through it again, especially not with Regina. She was the love of his life. And he needed her to live. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Let’s go home</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, I just wanna take you home </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin stayed frozen in the same spot almost all day, doing nothing but praying that Regina would wake up. Eventually, his prayers were answered. At about nine o’clock that night, she finally opened her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Regina,” he whispered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re here.” She remarked quietly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I am, my love.” Robin replied. “And I’m going to be here with you forever. I’m going to take you home and take care of you. I’m always going to be here to love you and protect you. I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hold on, I still want you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Come back, I still need you </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Robin, that sounds wonderful.” Regina replied. “But it can’t happen. You can’t come home with me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Robin asked, confused. “Why?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I’m a danger to everyone around me, including you and Roland.” She explained. “And I can’t put the two of you in harm’s way anymore. It would be best for both of you if you moved out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Regina, I’m not leaving you.” He insisted. “I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, too.” She told him. “And for a while, I thought we could have a happy ending together. But then I remembered who I am. I’m a villain. I can’t have a happy ending. But you can.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not without you.” He shook his head. “You’re my happy ending.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m not.” She argued. “Which is why you have to go. I know this is hard. I know it hurts. But you and Roland will both be happier once you move on.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I won’t.” He started to cry. “I still love you. I still want you. I still need you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need you too.” She admitted. “But I can’t have you. So you have to leave.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Robin sat there stunned. He didn’t think that she could break his heart anymore than she already had. But somehow, she had managed it. He thought he’d gotten her back, but it turned out, he was just losing her again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t want to leave. He could see the tears in her eyes. He could see the pain. And all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms until her pain went away. But she didn’t want him to. And he couldn’t make her. So he left, feeling like his heart had been torn out of his chest.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you're enjoying this story so far. I'll have more soonish. Thanks for reading! :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed that. I'll have more soonish. Thanks for reading! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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